My Really Good Fiverr Website


This terrible, no-good website was created to get Fiverr off my back for not linking any of my social media accounts. You want to refuse me access to my $4 gigs that end up being less than 25 cents/hour? Fine. Here. You have it now. Are you pleased? Is your high horse high enough for you? How does it feel to be superior to all of us, you corporate overlord? Hmm? Is taking a fifth of my pay not enough for you avaricious motherf*ckers?


And to you, the clients. Why is it necessary to see what kind of posts I make? Why, of all things, is my face and/or profile picture important? We're online. Is it not enough to assume we're all faceless entities desperately trying to make this month's rent? Can't we all be rightly terrified to put our real selves on the internet not because we're hiding something but because the notion of privacy is so minimal on the online spectrum that my baby photos exist for ad revenue?

To be clear, I get the checking. I understand the desire to know whether the people we are working with are problematic. As humans, we love drama. We have an almost intrinsic need to know what everyone else has going on.

But here's the ultimate truth: it is none of your business to know whether I love cats (I do) or support certain current events.


We're just so very used to sharing every aspect of our lives online that we don't hesitate. There's a moral element to it, too. Why would I refuse to say if I was [insert bad thing] or not unless I was? Why would I refuse to share details of myself if I wasn't hiding something? Why wouldn't I let the police in without a warrant?

Becuase you have no right the knowledge. It is not my job to publicize whether I support the Capitalist mainframe we live under, or if I am secretly a sixty-year-old man in a basement salivating over the thought of tricking you. It literally does not matter. I do not owe you my heart and soul. At this point in time, I am tired of trying. There are always more questions and fears and moral panics. I am tired to trying to fill out which side of the story I am on.


Instead, lets use some critical-thinking skills. Let's infer what kind of person I am from this sh*tty, sh*tty website. If you tried, you might guess that:


Whether it's the truth or not does not matter to me, and it shouldn't matter to you. I am working this job for scraps, and you are paying me chump change. Why do you really care what kind of person I am, when the amount of money you are paying for my services says things only about you? Because if I had to guess, it's because you want to feel good about this interaction. You want to think you're morally superior because you checked to make sure I was a good person when you spent 5/10/15 USD on art, or data entry, or whatever the hell else I have the skills for.

But this monetary transaction doesn't say much at all, except that I am poor, and desperate, and you are not willing or able to pay for the services I provide.

In a perfect world, I would be telling you not to expect something unless you can adequately pay the creator for their time and services. But truthfully? I need the money more than I need the ethics of this interaction to be sound. I need the five dollars more than I need you to feel bad about not paying your artists, or not being involved in your community, or whatever the f*ck else you're doing that isn't supporting people like me.



So like, buy my services, or something.














My shoelaces (not stolen):

































Disclaimer

This website is not intended to showcase any of my very limited HTML or CSS skills. Unless you're a fan of shitty websites, in which case, yes it is.